Grief and loss has increased my drinking
Widow has become addicted to xanax
My husband died and I sleep all day on pain pillsIt has been 6 months since my husband died.
We were married for 34 years.
Grief and loss
has increased my drinking
How attached we were is hard to explain,
I can't even explain it to myself.
I haven't done any grief groups or grief books like the therapists have suggested.
I am a strong willed person and have felt pretty sure I was just going to tough this out.
I'm a long term member in Alcoholics Anonymous plus hang out with my church people several times a week. I have my work, and my roommates, lots of friends. I love my dog and cats, I exercise. All of this and I used to be a therapist, so I already know everything about coping.
"According to what I tell myself"
It's getting rough. Three years ago I had a stroke. Been off and on "different" since then. In this past week, I've had a couple of seizures or TIA's. "Whatever"
Widow has become
It's getting real now. I woke up this morning in a nightmare.
In the dream my husband was calling me on the phone. He was at my Mother's house and I was at my Mum's old neighbor's place.
(My Mum also died just a few months before my husband died.)
In the dream, my husband sounded so stress on this call.
He said "this place is unlivable, I can't stay here, I've got to go."
I felt hysterical and begged him not to go, not to leave without me.
Too painful. I woke up hours ago, and still feel sick and weak.
The best I can do right now, is to sit still. Writing, reading, I'll watch TV, take naps, remember to eat, and let these feeling pass.
I have roommates who will be in and out of the house throughout the day.
I need dog food, which sound like an overwhelming task to me right now.
I'm thinking of grieving widows or widowers who don't have roommates or people coming in and out of their homes.
My heart goes out to people who are drinking or taking pills to deal with crippling grief.
People can give you moments of kindness and some company.
Each little nicety feels so much better than the isolation.
Use this tragic loss as a gift. Use this time when life has changed completely to go ahead and go through the changes you've been wishing for.
Call for help.
If you have private health insurance or about $10 thousand cash to use 'and up' Witts Inn can get you into a detox and rehab. That's the best way to go.
You'll get medicine for your cravings.
Therapy to direct you thinking away from resentment, fear, and grief.
A support group helps you to learn how to be hopeful and have fun.
12-step meetings are a part of the treatment experience, a great part.
I love them.
Public insurance plans do not pay for treatment.
If you are working with Obama Care,
Medical, Medicare or low funds look up Alcoholic's Anonymous.
Drag yourself to meetings.
The new life starts in those meeting spots.
For AA to help you have to go most everyday.
A couple times a day is even better.
Find an Alano Club, that's the best access to be able to go to multiple meetings a day.
Some people I know in recovery have had to get sober in the meetings.
Without the benefit of rehab and detox.
It works if you work it.
Treatment centers are the easier softer way.
If there is anyway you can get into treatment - Do It. Give yourself a break.
or text 949-413-4109