|All American girl from a nice family suffers from addiction|
seeks help in Orange County Sober Living
In 1993 I was arrested for possession of an illegal drug. It was Methamphetamine so I was ordered by the judge to go to a 30 day drug program. At that time in my life I had no idea that anyone could actually live a clean and sober lifestyle without being held at gunpoint. I was about to take a wonderful journey without the use of drugs and alcohol. I call it LIVING.
Something I had given up so many years ago.
|Girls just wan to have fun. When the party is over|
call Wits Inn Recovery Orange County Sober living
I checked out a few local rehabs, well actually I looked through a phone book and looked to find one that was close to my "area" and finally decided to visit and pretend to be serious. So I put on the shirt that had only been worn for a couple of days instead of wearing the one I had been wearing all week. I had to look as though I had my stuff together. I finally found the address and after looking around decided that the people here had to be using good stuff because they seemed so pleased with their surroundings and it didn't seem to bother them to be doing chores. One of them approached me and asked if I was just checking in. I said I was looking around for a friend of mine that had a problem.
A staff member showed me one of the rooms, 2 beds and a "key". I smiled thinking great I could definitely continue to use while watching cable in my room. I wondered about room service but didn't ask. 30 days here, no problem, so I called my father for the funding, filled out some paperwork and said that I would be back in the evening. Well 2 weeks before I was to show up in court to show prove that I had completed the program and after jumping bail at one point on another case, a bounty hunter showed up at my friends door and apprehended me before I could say " Mary Jo, no she doesn't live here."
|NA means never alone|
I was asked to please sit down. I walked out in search of a soda machine. I was taken into a room where 2 of the staff members asked if they could search through the few items in my bag. They found no drugs but placed my hair dryer on a shelf to be inspected later. They searched and found no contraband within my stuff.
I was asked to remove my boots and when all the pills hit the floor I simply said, "no wonder they don't fit right, those are not my boots". The thought of going more then one day without speed frightened me so I had hidden it in the shoulder pads of my shirt. I was given a room number and a "key" to unlock the door of my own room. This was going to be so easy! I just wasn't sure how I was going to appear before the judge in 2 weeks without having done 30 days. I figured I could just change the report and that would be the end of it.
|"These are not my boots"|
I lied even when the truth was so obviousAddiction took away my ability to have integrity
The one thing that I wasn't prepared for when it happened was that when asked who was responsible for this major disaster, his finger was pointing at me.
They didn't even hesitate. Within 30 minutes I was being asked to leave. I told them " that's ok, you can keep my money, just sign the necessary papers that I need to take to the Judge." I repeated, "really, you can keep the money". With a forced smile, the director that had been woken up to deal the situation and not happy about any of this, said," you just don't get it do you. That's not the way things work around here."
He was right, it didn't make any sense to me. I repeated, " you can keep the money, just sign my paperwork and I will leave". Upon my exit, staff making sure that I found the right door leading to the sidewalk, I heard the the big guy say, "You can keep the toothbrush!" The cold air hit me and so did a powerful and overwhelming feeling of pure FEAR. I sat on the curb trying to figure out what I had just done. I could hear the judges last words to me that day in court. " and young lady if you do not complete this program, I will through away the key!" In a flash I was pounding on the now locked silver door as though my life depended on someone opening it.
|Open the door, I want to be a success story|
They didn't just want my money, they wanted to help me and as I looked up I could feel the kindness. I felt the warmth. Something I hadn't felt for years. I gave them the drugs that I still had with a pain in my heart and as a result, I was welcomed with open arms. As of that moment when I handed over the drugs; I had to face the fact that I had just given them my security. I gave up the last hat I had.
|One day at a time, we do recover|
They gave me a new set of rules, "restriction", but I didn't care. For the first time I finally understood that this was going to be a journey, one that I needed to take. That was the hardest thing that I had ever done.
The fact that they were willing to give me a second chance after what I had done to my friend, and the consequences he would now have to deal with overwhelmed me. They were willing to walk me through the process with genuine care. Me, the brat child from Hell. That was the moment I began to turn my life around. The most important thing in my life was now to wake up every day and know that I had made it through one more day, an hour at time, a minute at a time even when I didn't want to.
It only took me 7 years to get 7 years clean and sober. For a long time it was 1 minute at a time. Long minutes. I'm not sure when it happened but I came to a place within myself where I was able to stop forcing the urge to use out of my head. Using was no longer an option. That is the most powerful feeling in the world. And I never felt alone as long as I stayed involved. "The power of many".
|This little girl was loved by her family,|
she had plans and dreams for herself
addiction paused her success story
|Sober living does work|
one day at a time
Wits Inn Recovery
Orange County Sober Living
Intensive out patient recovery programs