I reject the rules of American societySomewhere along the line I decided my parents maybe were not the perfect teachers, nor the most intelligent, most loving, most beautiful people in the world.
As I had held belief in parental perfection as absolute truth, I was crushed to find I they may have had faults. I was so angry and hurt by the knowledge of their humanness that I decided they appeared to have more serious faults than most others. These childhood condemnations lead me to lose faith in all established systems and a rebellious spirit became my constant companion.
The first thing I heard in my recovery program was your resentments will kill you. Then in Al Anon I heard “It doesn't matter, doesn't matter, and doesn’t matter.” I knew I was on to something. The fact that every little detail of life was not my business gave me a new idea that forgiveness of others was possible. These revelations lead me to begin to understand self forgiveness was recommended. As I took in these earth shaking concepts they showed me the way I had been thinking was way off. I was promised I'd find peace if I could change my mind.
I reject the rules of American society
A large portion of my spare time is spent maintaining my spiritual condition. I go to work and I go to meetings, or to my church. I talk on the phone to people who are not using and who want to help me in my recovery; I listen to peaceful music so I can have some meditation. Good food, the decorations in my clean house, exercise like walking my dog on trails I like, this kind of stuff keeps me together. I find my way out of continuing to do things that I don't like. I don’t take part in actions that upset me. Taking care of business doesn't have to include suffering. There is a solution.
Mission Basilica San Juan Capistrano is a church building and parish of the Roman Catholic Church in San Juan Capistrano, California, United States
My well being is of top priority. Doing what is important to me in a way that I can feel good about myself makes it possible for me to stay clean. Being mindful of other people’s feelings is a part of recovery too. Do no harm. Be polite.
Living our lives trying to make others happy is often one of the key ingredients in the addictive process. This is the selfish part of the program. While recovery is about being of service, and learning how to give; it is also about taking care of yourself so you have something to give. We must always replenish the well. We can't give away something we haven't got. Being of service is not about being a martyr. Stretching beyond our comfort zone is how we grow. There are many paradoxes in the program we must be willing to be a little uncomfortable and try new things, but then find a way to be comfortable in this new action. We can be of service without trying to be who other people want us to be. My adjusted attitude can make what was once impossible very doable. We must find a way to be kind to ourselves and others.
|Find a way to be kind to ourselves and others|
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