Sober Living Orange County Broken family relations Dana Point CA

Sober Living Orange County
Broken Family Relations
Wits Inn Sober Living Orange County
Wits Inn Intensive Outpatient
Wits End Interventions
Treatment Referral 949-292-2000

 Broken family relations are an presenting problem for many sober living and addiction treatment people. Sometimes we have to love people from a far.  This happens in my life and in the lives of people I work with.  
When we have resentments it means we continue to rethink about a real or perceived indignity over & over. 
This situation happens quite often in the families of addiction and mental illness. 
Even if they were 90% responsible for what happened
to you that made you become unhappy and confused
     When the behavior of a person who's actions are so far out of the scope of what a family has subscribed to as right and wrong or socially acceptable, ex-communications and resentments take shape.  Then the addict or the 'different person' in the family system takes offense to the perceived unkind over reaction as an abandonment or insult.  All of this disapproval and judgement creates excited traumatic brain chemistry, which tend to fuel it's self into deeper states of anger and fear.  This separates family members. 
     You can only control your own thoughts about the issue.  Often changing our own thoughts has a positive impact on the situation.  You cannot directly change an other persons thoughts so we often have to feel our love from a far.  The positive thinking has still made a change for the better in your own mind.  Healing of the family may come later, or never, or instantly within the twinkling of an eye.  Resentment is only a thought and a thought can be changed.  
     Our task is to keep our own side of the street clean.  Live in our own space.  Strive for happiness or peace of mind as a result of minding our own business.  There is a hula hoop around me that is the space that is mine to tend. 

     In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says that when we have a resentment we are to pray for that person.  The suggestion is to pray daily for two weeks a prayer for the person for whom we are painfully rethinking about.  Pray for that person to get everything that we want for ourselves.  Such as self forgiveness, pray for them to understand and to be understood. 
      No matter what you believe about prayer, this time of positive affirmation or meditation changes the brain chemistry associated with thoughts about the previously traumatizing issue.  As you set time aside daily to replace negative rethinking with thoughts of the bights of human possibilities the brain chemistry produced in accordance to thoughts of this issue or person begins to change for the better. 
     This is the basis of neuroplasticity the capacity of neurons and neural networks in the brain to change their connections and behavioral motivation in response to new information,or sensory stimulation. 
949-292-2000 Wits Inn Orange County Sober Living

There is plenty of buzz about neuroplasticty right now and that is wonderful that the powerful realities of "Change you thinking to Change your life" is being put in explainable scientific language and becoming so mainstream. 
     Alcoholics Anonymous, positive thinking religions, and some children's teachings have been using these principles for many years without having the scientific language to explain their understanding of these principles.   
     To me it just goes to show that 'truth is truth' and the 'answers are within' rituals.  To feel that you know what is right isn't enough.  Race consciousness (the stimuli of everybody in the world's thoughts, writing, and historic actions) powerfully effects our ideas.  Once we discover a "sounds true" we must repeat the action of knowing this truth and live our way into the healing.
     When repeat thoughts of negativity the results still grow in building negative 'upsetting' brain chemistry around thoughts of the issue.  So if you are into thinking about a belief that "They done me wrong and all is hopeless" Then this will be your growing feeling and there by your growing reality. 
     I have chosen to live and let live much to my own good pleasure and health.  I accept and embrace ever bit of what has ever happened in my life, and all of the players in the show that has been my experience.  I declare peace on everybody and everything. 
     The serenity prayer:
God Grant me the serenity 
To accept the Things I can not change      = you

To change the things I can                       = me, my thoughts and my actions

And the Wisdom to know the difference    = the power of the group, prayer, ritual  
Call Loriann Witte CAC, NCADI, RAS
Wits Inn
San Juan Capistrano
or text 949-413-4109