Letting Go of the Past

July 31, Monday
Next day after our visit. My girlfriend and I drove me to downtown to San Diego to visit my daughter in the MCC federal prison.
The visit was great. Daughter is suffering since her Dad passed away 3 years ago at the age of 67. She is now 50.

I woke up thinking about letting go of the past.

I found quotes.
I think about my late husband Pat.

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.”

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.”

“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.”     (Love this one, Even the Big Player like Pat - are not a part of my today - and that is Ok - I accept and embrace my whole life - just as it is & just as it is not ) And so it is…….. When I do this I’m so content.

“If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you've made, if they don't realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.”

We are only truly released from our prisons when we let go of all things past and live fully in the present moment.

   I felt happy that you mentioned my practice of continuously purging the items in my house. I love that practice. It’s a symbol of living in the present.
   I have lots to do today to get ready for the trip to Catalina. We’ll just see how much I get done.
Mani - Pedi, or do it in Catalina, or not, continue with Snaggle Claws
Mall - I have a bathing suit - need new spandex shorts
- most are made for anorexic Asian women
- Being a pork fed, corn bread American
- I do not qualify for those sizes. (Oh my,)

Packing light - I tend to wear the same thing the whole time
              - no matter how much I take  
              - I do not enjoy dragging around heavy clutter  
              - Keeping it a clean machine
Meds = check / toiletries = few...make up is not my thing
- I don’t need to plan to wear it on a trip

Underwear every day = check
Sneakers and flip flops - shots & jacket & pull on dress with flops
Cowboy hat = I’ll be lovely.

I’m going to look up meetings on the island.
Off to my 7:00 Am  eye opener AA, here in San Juan in a couple of hours
Been up since 3:45 AM - whatever that’s about?
I take the dog to the meeting, she stands in the grass with me, (she sniffs and pees) while I talk to people.   

I hear Bill having a nightmare. Pesky ol’ PTSD
I’d wake him up and comfort him, but he’s too aggro to mess with.

( Oh Well……. Saying a prayer for comfort instead. ) Letting it go. How do we let go of the opinions of others? We let go quickly, immediately, Don't receive it. What a grieving Mom and her overdosed son has to do with the President remain unknown. I guess it's some political intolerance thrown into the judgmental statement. All makes me sorry. Sorry for the Mom's of addicts, sorry for the addicts, So sorry for the misunderstanding and confusion addiction causes for all involved.
Letting Go of Others
Letting Go of Others 

Recovery comes to stay or goes from each individual on a one day at a time basis.
Sobriety is a very personal thing to each of us.
No one can give it to you - you can't buy it.
Many are called, few are chosen.

Clean off of heroin and all that went with it since 9-5-87.
Only by the Grace of God, contingent on the Daily Maintenance of my Spiritual Condition.
 — Addicts Do Recovery at Wits End Addiction Treatment Detox & Intervention.